It's the big day - Due Date Day.
I sure do feel frustrated! I just want to meet our little girl. I've continued to have random contractions the past few days, but nothing progresses to more frequent or higher intensity contractions. We found out at my midwife appointment on Tuesday that I am already 3cm dilated [33% of the way to 10cm & it didn't even hurt! :P] & 70% effaced. If you don't know what that means, basically my cervix is thinning out & opening up. Yahoo!
Last night I got to thinking a lot about labor & I feel so ready for it. As I've been out & about with this big baby belly, it's rare if someone doesn't ask about my due date. Lately, usually middle aged women, will ask if it's my first child, & then quickly tell me just to go into the hospital & ask for my epidural right away...
My body was made to do this. There are multiple reasons why, for me, I want to avoid an epidural & other medical interventions if possible. I'm not going into it with a "natural only" mentality because I know things will not go as planned - but deep down my true desire is to have this little lady naturally & here are a few reasons why.
1. I want to feel as in control as possible. Being hooked up to an IV & sitting in a bed hours with minimal or no feeling in my legs gives me terrible anxiety. I want to feel as if I am in control of my body, Jori's position as she prepares for her entrance, & to experience childbirth the way God made it to be.
2. I want Matt to be able to be involved. He has been a superstar husband through this whole pregnancy experience & he is really looking forward to his role as "birth coach". We've done lots of reading & feel so prepared for him to help me through each contraction that will get us closer to holding our girl. This is OUR baby & OUR labor process - he can't wait to help do is his part in it all. [lucky fella, his part is going to be a little easier than mine :P]
3. I don't want Pitocin. Sometimes when women start on an epidural, it can slow labor down significantly & something needs to be done to get it going again - but without the ability to walk or move, the drug pitocin is used to get contractions going again. This can be strenuous on the little babe as one of the drugs slows things down & the other speeds things up. For some women this is a truly great option for them & gets their baby in their arms quickly & safely. I don't mean to sound critical or negative about it - it's just something for me, I don't want to have. [that was a little disclaimer so that no one thinks I'm judging their childbirth experience].
4. C-Section: NO THANK YOU. If the situation occurs where little lady is all tangled up in her cord or some other emergency type situation occurs, then yes, cut me open & get her out. Otherwise, I don't want a lack of progress to be the reason why I have a C-Section. Not always, but often, it is more likely to have a C-Section after being on various drugs for pain than if the whole experience is natural. If you weren't aware, C-Sections are major surgery & take weeks to recover from. I don't have the luxury of having family close by or a husband who can easily be home for a couple weeks to take care of me - that will be things very tricky coming home.
5. When it's time to push, I want to feel what I'm doing. I've read that for some mom's it can be tricky the first time around to try & push without much feeling of what's actually happening. Many women do it no problem, I just don't want to be one of the ones that can't do it because I'm lacking feeling from the epidural. Sure it's going to hurt... but it's only temporary. & the reward is well worth the work.
There are other little things I could mention, but those are the biggies. God created my body for this & as long as everything goes like it should, we will have this lady drug-free [but if my labor is going on 30 hours... you better believe I'll be considering an epidural]. It shouldn't be a shocking thing, it doesn't mean I'll give myself a gold star of accomplishment & prance around thinking I'm better at giving birth than someone who used an epidural... it just means we had a baby without drugs. & that would be awesome.
That's my epidural vs. natural birth post for anyone wondering what our plan would be like. I hope that people can be encouraging of our decisions & avoid comments like "oh my gosh it's going to hurt so badly" "you're crazy!" or "i hope you can actually do it....[with a cynical attitude]. Those comments aren't helpful. & kind of discouraging.
After she's born, I plan on writing a post on our whole experience. Hopefully it goes as we hope it will & we can be an encouragement to anyone wondering if they can do a natural childbirth & how the heck they can get through the hours of labor. We have a plan, & I'll share that plan & how it worked out for us.
Until that day comes - please be praying for my mental well-being. I'm feeling a little crazy. Uncomfortable. Bored. Anxious to hold our lady that we've been waiting for for 9 months. & I just want this amazing labor/childbirth experience to begin!
Friday, May 17, 2013
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Waiting
39 weeks & 1 day. Due date is next Friday, only 6 days away. I have learned that I really don't like the system of "due dates". Of course it's known that the chances of babes actually coming on her due date is highly unlikely, but I'd prefer a better way of knowing when to expect her to be here. I wish I was told "you'll probably go into labor sometime in the middle/end of may" and then I don't have a date in mind that I can't stop thinking about!
Ever since 37 weeks [when babes are considered full-term & safe to come] I've started going to bed thinking 'tonight could be the night!' but then waking up sad that it wasn't. Every day I go out hoping that I won't have to come home, but can just make my way to the hospital & have a baby. Then I come home from whatever errands I ran feeling a little sad that there wouldn't be a baby in my arms that night.
The real kicker is that I thought I really was going to have Jori this weekend. Thursday night around 12:30 [4 hours after drinking 2 tablespoons of castor oil mixed with a glass of orange juice. The texture is horrendous.] I had some contractions. They weren't crazy painful, but pretty uncomfortable. Throughout the night the contractions continued. I slept when I could, but woke up almost every hour from them. Around 6:30am they slowed down significantly, so my darling husband got up at 7:30 on his first day off of his week long vacation & took a nice 40 minute walk with me. The contractions picked back up while we walked & were pretty regular, but not increasing in intensity. Minutes after we got back to the apartment & I sat down the contractions stopped & never started up again. Talk about disappointment. In both of our minds, this was early labor & that eventually, maybe later in the afternoon or early evening we'd have to make our way to the hospital & meet our little lady. But here we are. Still at home. Two of us waiting, praying, & begging our little girl to come be with us. We really will be great parents, Jori, I promise you'll be happy when you meet us. :]
So this is my dilemma. I feel as if I'm walking on a very fine line of trusting God, because ultimately He has already chosen her birthday, & trying to control the whole situation. We've tried quite a few of the old wives' tales that potentially get labor started. Spicy food, walking, 'cuddle' time, & even the dreaded castor oil [I vowed I wouldn't take until I was a week late but caved in & took anyways]. Essentially it doesn't matter what I do because God's plan for her birthday will be the deciding factor in her arrival date. I can't help but think "maybe if I get the spiciest wings at BDubs that'll do it" or "if I walk for 3 hours, certainly that will start contractions again!" But really... does that actually do anything if God's timing for her is to come "late"?
We will just have to keep playing the waiting game until the REAL contractions start. You can be praying for & with us about it as it has been a very frustrating time for me/us. I don't want to wish away the last few days/weeks we have as a family of two, but I also cannot wait to be a family of three.
Jori Stats:
-39 weeks, 1 day
-could be between 18-21 inches long
-could be over 7 pounds in weight.
-she measured at 37.5 weeks at my last midwife appointment [so potentially a 6-7 pound baby yahoooo!]
-my total weight gain is at 32 pounds & still feeling good enough to walk/jog in short intervals [& at a very slow pace]
-little girl is fully prepared for her arrival to the world as far as her development goes
Looking Ahead:
-The Nursery!
Ever since 37 weeks [when babes are considered full-term & safe to come] I've started going to bed thinking 'tonight could be the night!' but then waking up sad that it wasn't. Every day I go out hoping that I won't have to come home, but can just make my way to the hospital & have a baby. Then I come home from whatever errands I ran feeling a little sad that there wouldn't be a baby in my arms that night.
The real kicker is that I thought I really was going to have Jori this weekend. Thursday night around 12:30 [4 hours after drinking 2 tablespoons of castor oil mixed with a glass of orange juice. The texture is horrendous.] I had some contractions. They weren't crazy painful, but pretty uncomfortable. Throughout the night the contractions continued. I slept when I could, but woke up almost every hour from them. Around 6:30am they slowed down significantly, so my darling husband got up at 7:30 on his first day off of his week long vacation & took a nice 40 minute walk with me. The contractions picked back up while we walked & were pretty regular, but not increasing in intensity. Minutes after we got back to the apartment & I sat down the contractions stopped & never started up again. Talk about disappointment. In both of our minds, this was early labor & that eventually, maybe later in the afternoon or early evening we'd have to make our way to the hospital & meet our little lady. But here we are. Still at home. Two of us waiting, praying, & begging our little girl to come be with us. We really will be great parents, Jori, I promise you'll be happy when you meet us. :]
So this is my dilemma. I feel as if I'm walking on a very fine line of trusting God, because ultimately He has already chosen her birthday, & trying to control the whole situation. We've tried quite a few of the old wives' tales that potentially get labor started. Spicy food, walking, 'cuddle' time, & even the dreaded castor oil [I vowed I wouldn't take until I was a week late but caved in & took anyways]. Essentially it doesn't matter what I do because God's plan for her birthday will be the deciding factor in her arrival date. I can't help but think "maybe if I get the spiciest wings at BDubs that'll do it" or "if I walk for 3 hours, certainly that will start contractions again!" But really... does that actually do anything if God's timing for her is to come "late"?
We will just have to keep playing the waiting game until the REAL contractions start. You can be praying for & with us about it as it has been a very frustrating time for me/us. I don't want to wish away the last few days/weeks we have as a family of two, but I also cannot wait to be a family of three.
Jori Stats:
-39 weeks, 1 day
-could be between 18-21 inches long
-could be over 7 pounds in weight.
-she measured at 37.5 weeks at my last midwife appointment [so potentially a 6-7 pound baby yahoooo!]
-my total weight gain is at 32 pounds & still feeling good enough to walk/jog in short intervals [& at a very slow pace]
-little girl is fully prepared for her arrival to the world as far as her development goes
Looking Ahead:
-The Nursery!
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