Waiting

39 weeks & 1 day. Due date is next Friday, only 6 days away. I have learned that I really don't like the system of "due dates". Of course it's known that the chances of babes actually coming on her due date is highly unlikely, but I'd prefer a better way of knowing when to expect her to be here. I wish I was told "you'll probably go into labor sometime in the middle/end of may" and then I don't have a date in mind that I can't stop thinking about!

Ever since 37 weeks [when babes are considered full-term & safe to come] I've started going to bed thinking 'tonight could be the night!' but then waking up sad that it wasn't. Every day I go out hoping that I won't have to come home, but can just make my way to the hospital & have a baby. Then I come home from whatever errands I ran feeling a little sad that there wouldn't be a baby in my arms that night.

The real kicker is that I thought I really was going to have Jori this weekend. Thursday night around 12:30 [4 hours after drinking 2 tablespoons of castor oil mixed with a glass of orange juice. The texture is horrendous.] I had some contractions. They weren't crazy painful, but pretty uncomfortable. Throughout the night the contractions continued. I slept when I could, but woke up almost every hour from them. Around 6:30am they slowed down significantly, so my darling husband got up at 7:30 on his first day off of his week long vacation & took a nice 40 minute walk with me. The contractions picked back up while we walked & were pretty regular, but not increasing in intensity. Minutes after we got back to the apartment & I sat down the contractions stopped & never started up again. Talk about disappointment. In both of our minds, this was early labor & that eventually, maybe later in the afternoon or early evening we'd have to make our way to the hospital & meet our little lady. But here we are. Still at home. Two of us waiting, praying, & begging our little girl to come be with us. We really will be great parents, Jori, I promise you'll be happy when you meet us. :]

So this is my dilemma. I feel as if I'm walking on a very fine line of trusting God, because ultimately He has already chosen her birthday, & trying to control the whole situation. We've tried quite a few of the old wives' tales that potentially get labor started. Spicy food, walking, 'cuddle' time, & even the dreaded castor oil [I vowed I wouldn't take until I was a week late but caved in & took anyways]. Essentially it doesn't matter what I do because God's plan for her birthday will be the deciding factor in her arrival date. I can't help but think "maybe if I get the spiciest wings at BDubs that'll do it" or "if I walk for 3 hours, certainly that will start contractions again!" But really... does that actually do anything if God's timing for her is to come "late"?

We will just have to keep playing the waiting game until the REAL contractions start. You can be praying for & with us about it as it has been a very frustrating time for me/us. I don't want to wish away the last few days/weeks we have as a family of two, but I also cannot wait to be a family of three.

Jori Stats:
-39 weeks, 1 day
-could be between 18-21 inches long
-could be over 7 pounds in weight.
-she measured at 37.5 weeks at my last midwife appointment [so potentially a 6-7 pound baby yahoooo!]
-my total weight gain is at 32 pounds & still feeling good enough to walk/jog in short intervals [& at a very slow pace]
-little girl is fully prepared for her arrival to the world as far as her development goes

Looking Ahead:
-The Nursery!